This Ground, This Breath

Sometimes you rage against life's blows. And sometimes, in spite of it all, you're in the flow--no resisting, no grasping. It's as if life simply opens the door and ushers you through to the next place. The crowds and the long lines and the noise are gone, and you know you are exactly where you need to be. It still may not compute in your brain--you still may not know HOW it's all going to work out. But this place feels easy, just right, and you're so very glad to be here. Savor this moment. Feel your heart expand. Love. Be. Be love. Happy birthday, my dear G!

The last year has been one of the most trying of my life. I've given up some things that are very important to me in an effort to re-establish balance, but the challenges seem to keep coming and the pressure keeps building. My spiritual self has been asking: "What is the lesson in all of this for me?" "Where else and how else can I let go?" My mind on the other hand has been cursing like a sailor—raging and blaming, analyzing and bargaining. And my heart? It hurts like heck one moment and is numb the next. I seem to be endlessly cycling between several stages of grief, never able to reach the final stages of acceptance and meaning . I've always known I don't handle stress well. It's in my biology, but I think it's also a result of my upbringing. I was raised on a farm in the rural South, where the pace of life was slower, and where what seemed like "enough" felt fairly achievable. Ever since becoming a tiny fish ...